Losing Everything. . . .
Hi All,
It is a sad time for me. Recently, my hard drive crashed. I lost all of the songs, images, and words you see, listen to, or read here. I am dictating this message from my phone. It is not easy to see years worth of work vanish. There may be some ways to get it back that I am trying, but for now, no more songs from me. I have no way to record them now. I have no way to make music except in my living room on my keyboard. The recording process of these songs is ambient which means I cannot capture pristine recordings. . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Thousands of dollars in software I used is now gone. ProTools and Cubase are history, memories of hours spent negotiating screens, clips, loops, etc. . . , gone. Ouch, I lost my best friend, the cost of it all is lambent. Such is the way of computers I suppose, like people, they die. At sixty, I guess I really should just forget about it, a fad that passed through my life for a few years, thirty at least to end up in a fried pile of wires. Dang, that makes me sad, mad, frustrated, and forlorn.
Anyway, the last two years of my life in song is right here, right now. I appreciate all of you who have shown support, sharing with me this path I have undertaken on faith. It means the world to me that someone in this great big world actually listens to a song I wrote. I am deeply appreciative of this knowing that I shared some of my soul with you direct as it was given to me from wherever music manifests.
I think N1M is a special place for unsigned artists like me. Creation is a funny journey as there are so many variables to it. I will always consider I was at my closest to God because of music creation. It is not like I can bend air to make a dog, but if I color the air just a little with a crayon keyboard and a colored pencil microphone, maybe the story of that dog would reveal itself to me. Such are the stories I hear in music. I often wonder what if? What if I sang flawlessly. Would I still be able to create a song? What if I played like Mozart? Would I still be able to put syllable to note? What if I could not write? Would I still feel the note seeking syllable to create something wondrous?
Guess it doesn't really matter for now. I have to devote my energy in a different direction until I can come back to my old friend. Hopefully, age and change remain at bay until I do meet music again.
I want to thank you folks who have joined this mailing list, several thousand of you from all over the globe. Every one of you here means I did it. I managed to bring wholesome original music to be enjoyed by anyone for a lifetime direct to you and you responded with your likes, comments, reviews, emails and song purchases. I am forever grateful to you for doing so!
Say a prayer for me!
Mark Holman
Holworks Music
*******************************************************************