Today as I was starting my workday, a co-worker asked me if I had heard about J? Since that was such a useless question, I replied “no What are you asking me?”. She replied, “I just heard that when J got home from work last night, he found his wife dead on the driveway.” Then she went back into her office. I was on my way down to the lunch wagon to purchase my lunch even though it was 08:30. Another story that is not at all interesting. As I walked in a shocked stupor from that interchange, I was numb with shock. The next person that I encountered was the receptionist who had told the co-worker about J. She asked me the exact same question in the exact same words. I did not have the energy to be sarcastic since it is wasted on them anyway. I just replied “yes” and walked out of the building to stand in line to purchase my lunch. As I stood there in the morning sun and was barely aware of the conversational noise that I encountered each morning (the other folks in line are part of a special needs Adult Day Care service). They all repeat and stare, but I have become a better person because of my constant interaction with them. My intolerance has been replaced with understanding now. But today I was in a different place. A place that hits home for me extremely hard. J is 11 years older than me. For those of you that are math-challenged, that makes him 72. Shut the F#$K up about what you are thinking and saying about how old I am!!!!! The story which I am prone to disbelieve is that he arrived home from work and discovered his wife of 40 years lying dead on the driveway. It’s just surreal! He had shared a cubicle in the office where I am presently seated so they know him rather well. When I told one of the young women about this, she was obviously shocked and asked if the word had gotten out. Since it was rather early for the Management types to arrive, I told her that it was probably not communicated yet. Plus, it was not something that EVERYONE should know about since it was related to an employee’s personal life. She heard that but still went into her manager’s office to find out if she had heard anything. As management started to arrive at work the word slowly leaked out. By the end of the day, there was no official announcement, but “Coconut Wireless” had already spread the word. My day was spent trying to concentrate on extremely technical process documentation, but I found myself drifting off often. Now that I am at home and have time to really reflect on this event, I am finding it exceedingly difficult to deal with alone. Since I am very much an “island”, my only outlet is a note on Facebook. I just cannot put my arms around what J must have and is going through. He was already retired and somehow was convinced to come out to help the organization where I am a temporary staff member. The rush of thoughts is drowning me tonight. All the unknown “What if” questions that I imagine him asking. Though I did not know him at all, my heart is bleeding for him. So, when you think that something in your life is bad, step back and consider how you would handle what J is going through right now. That was written years ago. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and someone that I don’t know wished me a Happy Thanksgiving this evening. She had listened to my only song on a musical website that I subscribe to. She listened to that song and wanted to reach out and thank me. I want to thank all the souls that I have encountered during this journey. The lessons that were learned and often forgotten need to be written down and reviewed. Respectfully submitted, Miyagi 11-26-2021